I’m just going to start by saying it is supremely fucked up that the House passed a bill that would ban Medicaid from covering healthcare related to “gender transition” starting in 2026 and would remove the ACA requirement that insurances offered in the healthcare exchange cover gender-affirming care starting in 2027.
I am not joking when I say this— working as a ICU RN helps me cope with being trans more than literally anything else. I work with (mostly, nothing is ever 100%) amazing, supportive, and affirming doctors, nurses, therapists, patients from every walk of life. People that you’d literally never expect to will ask me about being trans, I’ve talked to parents of trans children and they’ve asked me questions they are uncomfortable with asking their child.
This system is awful to us, so often, and some people are awful, I don’t deny that, but so many more people are kind. Maybe curious, maybe ignorant. But kind. There are still kind people.
Thank you for sharing this, I love this. Also as someone who (like most of us) has had loved ones in the ICU, it brings me immense comfort to imagine you bringing this energy to that important nursing work.
I have no idea how you stay so grounded and articulate your groundedness in a way that sheds a sense of radical hope in me. However, every time I read a piece of your writing, I leave with a sense of awe and admiration. You have a way of taking something so horrific and depressing and shedding light in a way that is rooted in facts and truth. I really appreciate all of the work you do. Hats off to you - I have no idea how you do it, but as a queer social worker who is feeling burnt out and nihilistic at times, but who also still believes in community - Thank You.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I'm reading this as I sip my morning coffee, enjoying how sweet it tastes through the lips of the woman I have become from the man I tried to be. My little man (my dog) is curled up in my arms sharing his warmth. In this moment, with the morning light streaming through the windows, your words are helping me to stay grounded, helping me to center myself.
I can't find the words to describe the enormity of the challenges our community faces. But it's through the advice and wisdom offered through articles like yours that we may find our way through this.
Having tread along the dark paths of suicide at points in my life, I intimately know that mindset. I also know that I am not alone in that experience. I have had to learn coping methods to stay focused on the light, to stay active, and to stay engaged. I think your words are a wonderful guide to help realize that connectedness.
This is a must read for everyone in our community, especially those who are also drawn towards that tangled world of darkness. This article is especially important for those cis folks who consider themselves allies, so that they understand more completely the challenges trans folks face every day.
What are your suggestions for those of us who will lose the positive changes we’ve built through HRT the last few years if access gets cut and we can’t access healthcare? I’m not in a financial position to pay out of pocket for healthcare or prescriptions, I’m a trans single mother to two kids, one who is also trans. I haven’t had any surgeries so my body will go back to producing testosterone which left me suicidal and extremely depressed. I’m not sure I can survive if I lose access.
Many of us with complexed PTSD and a history of trauma are reading this like, well it must be nice to have privilege and be able to pay for your surgery. But you seem to miss the target of the marginalized. Which includes chronically ill folks, POC, the poor and elderly. This post feel exclusive and made for the privileged. Quite triggering IMO.
I hate that this was the impact of this piece on you. To be clear, I do not think a solution to any of this is for trans people to easily pay for our surgeries ourselves. (Nor was this something I did or would have been able to do.) As I noted but perhaps not strongly enough, before insurance coverage many people had to forego care or access subpar car because of inaccessibility. Those of us who did access care, particularly surgeries, often did so by going into debt, crowdfunding from our communities, and/or limiting our choices and sometimes safety by going to less expensive surgeons. I do believe that as we find ourselves facing more restrictions, we will need alternate models of funding, from community and importantly cis allies. And I'm seeing amazing organizations, including those led by affected and multiply marginalized people building infrastructure for this. The bulk of this piece is about how we find ways to live meaningfully and as fully as possible even in a context where we may not have access to care. I have had a great deal of privilege in my life and it has shaped my particular journey and what has and hasn't been hard. I strive to write not solely from my own experience but from what I've learned in community and in my work as a psychologist so that it is not only relevant for people whose lives have looked like mine. I'm deeply sorry my writing fell short for you this time.
Your comments are so perfectly organized, arranged and articulated in a manner that I can just say how much your words resonate with me. Where I'm at much a different place today than years past where suicide was always on the table, only recently has it resurfaced precisely from the indications you state.
I recently completed my second memoir with the intent of providing some means of information for my children who still have not and may never come to terms with my transition. I have spent most of my recent years since being forced into retirement in mid 21, with international travel and absorbing myself with my home and rediscovering exactly who I am living my truth. I confess that I have withdrawn from many social outlets, including online correspondence, due to pretty obvious reasons these days. But I can tell you that days begin reintroducing myself and the mirror and verifying my love for what I see after peeling the onion layers back enough to experience beauty of the heart and the soul together.
Your words are a prescription for living! Thank you!
Cis warrior sibling here, sending all my trans family love. I live in North Carolina and am absolutely surrounded by people who are throwing down for all of us, especially our trans fam. That's right: NC at your back! We'll get through this together and not only will we keep fighting like hell, we'll keep celebrating your incredible beauty along the way! 🩷🩵🩷🩵
I love this and it made me tear up a bit!
I am not joking when I say this— working as a ICU RN helps me cope with being trans more than literally anything else. I work with (mostly, nothing is ever 100%) amazing, supportive, and affirming doctors, nurses, therapists, patients from every walk of life. People that you’d literally never expect to will ask me about being trans, I’ve talked to parents of trans children and they’ve asked me questions they are uncomfortable with asking their child.
This system is awful to us, so often, and some people are awful, I don’t deny that, but so many more people are kind. Maybe curious, maybe ignorant. But kind. There are still kind people.
Thank you for sharing this, I love this. Also as someone who (like most of us) has had loved ones in the ICU, it brings me immense comfort to imagine you bringing this energy to that important nursing work.
I have no idea how you stay so grounded and articulate your groundedness in a way that sheds a sense of radical hope in me. However, every time I read a piece of your writing, I leave with a sense of awe and admiration. You have a way of taking something so horrific and depressing and shedding light in a way that is rooted in facts and truth. I really appreciate all of the work you do. Hats off to you - I have no idea how you do it, but as a queer social worker who is feeling burnt out and nihilistic at times, but who also still believes in community - Thank You.
Thank you for this. It means a lot to me to know this resonates with and has something to offer a fellow queer care worker
This cis reader thanks you very much for all this info!
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I'm reading this as I sip my morning coffee, enjoying how sweet it tastes through the lips of the woman I have become from the man I tried to be. My little man (my dog) is curled up in my arms sharing his warmth. In this moment, with the morning light streaming through the windows, your words are helping me to stay grounded, helping me to center myself.
I can't find the words to describe the enormity of the challenges our community faces. But it's through the advice and wisdom offered through articles like yours that we may find our way through this.
Having tread along the dark paths of suicide at points in my life, I intimately know that mindset. I also know that I am not alone in that experience. I have had to learn coping methods to stay focused on the light, to stay active, and to stay engaged. I think your words are a wonderful guide to help realize that connectedness.
This is a must read for everyone in our community, especially those who are also drawn towards that tangled world of darkness. This article is especially important for those cis folks who consider themselves allies, so that they understand more completely the challenges trans folks face every day.
So, once again. Thank you. ♥️🏳️⚧️🙏🏻
Thank you for bringing these perspectives to front of mind as we move through these times.
What are your suggestions for those of us who will lose the positive changes we’ve built through HRT the last few years if access gets cut and we can’t access healthcare? I’m not in a financial position to pay out of pocket for healthcare or prescriptions, I’m a trans single mother to two kids, one who is also trans. I haven’t had any surgeries so my body will go back to producing testosterone which left me suicidal and extremely depressed. I’m not sure I can survive if I lose access.
Many of us with complexed PTSD and a history of trauma are reading this like, well it must be nice to have privilege and be able to pay for your surgery. But you seem to miss the target of the marginalized. Which includes chronically ill folks, POC, the poor and elderly. This post feel exclusive and made for the privileged. Quite triggering IMO.
I hate that this was the impact of this piece on you. To be clear, I do not think a solution to any of this is for trans people to easily pay for our surgeries ourselves. (Nor was this something I did or would have been able to do.) As I noted but perhaps not strongly enough, before insurance coverage many people had to forego care or access subpar car because of inaccessibility. Those of us who did access care, particularly surgeries, often did so by going into debt, crowdfunding from our communities, and/or limiting our choices and sometimes safety by going to less expensive surgeons. I do believe that as we find ourselves facing more restrictions, we will need alternate models of funding, from community and importantly cis allies. And I'm seeing amazing organizations, including those led by affected and multiply marginalized people building infrastructure for this. The bulk of this piece is about how we find ways to live meaningfully and as fully as possible even in a context where we may not have access to care. I have had a great deal of privilege in my life and it has shaped my particular journey and what has and hasn't been hard. I strive to write not solely from my own experience but from what I've learned in community and in my work as a psychologist so that it is not only relevant for people whose lives have looked like mine. I'm deeply sorry my writing fell short for you this time.
Your comments are so perfectly organized, arranged and articulated in a manner that I can just say how much your words resonate with me. Where I'm at much a different place today than years past where suicide was always on the table, only recently has it resurfaced precisely from the indications you state.
I recently completed my second memoir with the intent of providing some means of information for my children who still have not and may never come to terms with my transition. I have spent most of my recent years since being forced into retirement in mid 21, with international travel and absorbing myself with my home and rediscovering exactly who I am living my truth. I confess that I have withdrawn from many social outlets, including online correspondence, due to pretty obvious reasons these days. But I can tell you that days begin reintroducing myself and the mirror and verifying my love for what I see after peeling the onion layers back enough to experience beauty of the heart and the soul together.
Your words are a prescription for living! Thank you!
Cis warrior sibling here, sending all my trans family love. I live in North Carolina and am absolutely surrounded by people who are throwing down for all of us, especially our trans fam. That's right: NC at your back! We'll get through this together and not only will we keep fighting like hell, we'll keep celebrating your incredible beauty along the way! 🩷🩵🩷🩵
Sending you so much love, friend. This sounds so hard 🫂