This Is For the Trans People Who Feel Like the Entire World Is Against Them
It’s easy to feel like all the world hates trans people or that there’s a heavy mix of hatred and indifference. Anti-trans nonsense abounds if you spend any time tracking politics where trans people have become scapegoats and our rights have been made wedge issues, or if you use social media at all, with algorithms that amplify fear- and rage-inducing content.
It’s not a surprise to me when clients and friends express this sentiment. Not everyone has the good fortune of being connected to both cisgender people and cis-led organizations that repeatedly demonstrate their care for and commitment to trans communities. I have spent years on listservs of largely cisgender healthcare professionals brainstorming best avenues of care, access, and affirmation, and strategizing resistance to oppression. I have spent many hours with cisgender parents, both informally and in organized settings via groups like PFLAG Charlotte, working hard to unlearn cisnormativity and understand their children’s experiences — and working hard to fight for their kids’ rights to be themselves. I should also say I’m partnered to a very wonderful cis woman (going on 9 years this summer!!) and have a supportive community that is majority (though far from entirely) cisgender friends and family. So when I start to spiral out about the world hating us or not caring, I have a lot of anchors that I can turn to to remind me that the sense of everyone being against us is a distortion. (And a distortion that serves to benefit anti-trans bigots and fascist oppressors who want us hopeless and disconnected.) And you know what, even still, I need reminders.
A Real Gift from Children’s Book Author Scott Stuart
I want to share with y’all a reminder that I stumbled upon today, thanks to therapist Andres Brown sharing it on their social media. It is a children’s book style poem by Scott Stuart. I love children’s books. I’ve been reading them, even purchasing them, since long before my partner was pregnant. Even before we were trying to have a child. They often convey beautiful and complex messages with striking resonance and even simplicity. So I was not surprised to be moved to tears by the verse of a children’s book. But I suspect it will be meaningful even for those of you do not share my affinity for the medium. To hear this message and imagine a loving mentor reading it to you. Or to imagine extending this message from adult you to child you. Or to the children in your communities.
Scott shared that he wrote this book in response to a special request from a parent:
Could you write a bedtime story for my child who is trans? They feel like the entire world is against them.
Here is a video of Scott reading the poem, and I’ve transcribed it below. It is notable to me that Scott is a cisgender man, expressing pure appreciation and acceptance of gender diversity and creating a poem of safety and encouragement for a trans young person.
Note that I couldn’t embed the reel from instagram but I got it from there: www.instagram.com/reels/DXDhJFJDg89/
Today it might have seemed as if you simply don’t belong,
as if there’s one or many things about you that are wrong —
like the whole world is against you and nowhere feels like home,
and all you really want is to feel safe and less alone.
But to me, you are perfect exactly as you are
even when the world still needs to come so very far.
It’s hard to find the courage to stand and hold your ground
when feeling you’re surrounded by those who bring you down.
You have a heart that’s filled with love, a soul that shines so bright —
don’t let a single hurtful word dim your shining light.
So take a breath and let it out and know that you are strong.
And hold on to that fire inside; you will find where you belong.
So go with joy and live the life that you were born to live.
The world needs those special gifts that only you can give.
So close your eyes and sleep now and let your heart be free
and know that I am proud of you, just as you’re meant to be.
You don’t have to be a child to experience these feelings of isolation and rejection and persecution. To have a hard time going to sleep, imagining the world is against you.
And I love that Scott is very clear here: This is a problem with The World, not you. [This reminds me of a song which I’ll embed at the end of the post.] And I also love that the very nature of him writing this, putting it out there so publicly, being asked by a parent to do so… actually challenges the very nature of that set of alienation feelings. The whole world isn’t against us. And still this bedtime poem doesn’t shy away from the truth that some people really are against us and say and do deeply hateful and violent things; there are spaces we are made to not belong. But it is a reminder that that’s not the whole story and that we have the strength — both internal and from the communities that support us — to keep alive all the wonderful pieces of us that only we can offer the world.
So close your eyes and sleep now and let your heart be free and know that I am proud of you, just as you’re meant to be.
More from Scott Stuart
Scott has published many books and other content focused on living authentically — as his website bio puts it, he is “on a mission to help kids grow up kind, brave, and unapologetically themselves.”
He has a series of children’s books he wrote and illustrated called the My Shadow Book Series, about kids who break gender stereotypes.
He’s in the process of turning these into shorts and video media, with a beautiful animated 9 minute short for My Shadow is Pink already out.
His other books include titles like The Very First You and How to Be a Real Man
His website is full of information and resources and he stated on instagram (which honestly is also probably on TikTok but instagram is my only current social media vice) that he is compiling a free library of poems and posters for parents and kids. So definitely check out his content and sign up for his updates.
Another Kids Lit Illustrator
While I’m talking about kids lit and illustrators, I have to lift up Kah Yangni. I’ve used Kah’s illustrations in my presentations and workshops for years. Their work centers the liberatory vitality of transness and queerness. I’ve been thrilled to see them working on children’s books lately and own all of the books they’ve done the art for. And y’all, they are incredible. I’ll share some of their publicly available art below as well as covers of the books they’ve illustrated.
Kah Yangni’s prints are available through their online shop and you can download some of their Trans Day of Resilience art at tdor.co. You can find these books at your local independent bookstores and online at bookshop.org!
The Song I Mentioned Above
Free association is a wonderful thing! As I noted above, Scott Stuart writing that “still needs to come so very far” reminded me of the song The Village by a musician named Wrabel — and specifically the version performed with the Trans Chorus of Los Angeles. Watch/listen below. Please note that it opens with a clip of Trump saying hateful things about trans people. Skip over that by starting the video at 24 seconds.
Sending y’all so much love today and always.